Doin' The Devil's Tango Ep. 4 - Don't gamble your life away for a relationship
47:14
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komentāri
  • AwkrdW1llCmdy
    AwkrdW1llCmdy

    Dude, your glasses analogy was actually perfect, my current girlfriend I met 2 years ago, we are long distance rn but we always found a way to see each other and it's honestly been so good. It's crazy though because exactly what you said it's like my eyes were opened and I was like "Wait, you mean I don't have to put up with all that bullshit I did before? Dating someone doesn't have to be filled with drama and wanting to pull my hair out?"

  • Amanda L.
    Amanda L.

    3hrs is.

  • Shi2102
    Shi2102

    I'm sorry but I have to say it, I laughed so hard at the English teacher comment xD I'm from Poland but I live in Japan and every single time you mention some experience, I laugh so much because it's so true!

  • Krishna Thakkar
    Krishna Thakkar

    Love this podcast, thanks for making them Alex!

  • H S
    H S

    Alex gives such good advice, especially for that muslim high schooler!

  • Anikó Kovács
    Anikó Kovács

    Too many psychopaths out there, so I am not dating...

  • Tyrese Keyter
    Tyrese Keyter

    Seems like emotional abuse to me. Fighting shouldn't cause you to be rude enough to cause the other person to cry

  • Tyrese Keyter
    Tyrese Keyter

    getting married is the same thing as having a kid to solve a problem in the relationship

  • Esther Macky
    Esther Macky

    I would send an email. but I have no past or present relationship :)))

  • Mimsnt Santos
    Mimsnt Santos

    KEEP IT WITH THE PODCASTS, LOVE THEM

  • Trash fairy
    Trash fairy

    im twelve watching this listening carefully soo... idk

  • Trinity Olusola
    Trinity Olusola

    Love this podcast! I listen to you while doing my Precal homework. Thanks!! :)

  • Lizzy Thorne
    Lizzy Thorne

    Oh man, that first girl needs to run for her life!! Sorry Alex, I see huge red flags from this man. He sounds like he's not committed to the relationship anymore, and doesn't want to give up anything himself to make it work. I've seen friends go through relationships like this - it will only get worse. Find someone who's willing to sacrifice for You too, and wants to actually move your relationship forward.

  • hosea lincz
    hosea lincz

    I enjoyed listening to you, am not saying that your advices are perfect but they are really good on my personal opinion bro, so thanks.

  • Meagan Cook
    Meagan Cook

    Why are you against people staying with their high school sweethearts?

  • Mrs tedder
    Mrs tedder

    Alex read my email! I truly need help lol

  • Sarah Castellani
    Sarah Castellani

    Getting married without a job will not give you ANY stability.

  • Freddy Martinez
    Freddy Martinez

    If they love each other, and the relationship is great, they have significant amount of time together, they both want to spend the rest of their life with the other, then get married. She has already committed, and she may feel like he is not committed enough. For some people, marriage is another level of commitment, for some people marriage is for life. It sounds to me like he isn't meeting half way. Brushing of marriage like it's not important is insulting to married couples and especially those who have had a long and loving marriage.

  • oriana
    oriana

    Alex, i think you should move back to the states Now that you and your ex broke up, and you have no family in Japan And i think you'll get great job opportunities

  • Tayla Bonthuis
    Tayla Bonthuis

    My partner and i used to live 1 hour and a half and i was the only one with a licence and i didn’t have a proper income only occasional babysitting so it was hard for us to see each other long distance depends on situation aswell im glad you and kelsey get to see each other often tho

  • Fajer M
    Fajer M

    I think a lot of people want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Then they are disappointed when it doesn't go well. They create these fantasies in their heads that relationships are cute & romantic when they forget that this is real life. They dismiss any behavior that seems threatening to the relationship & have false hope that the relationship is going great. Just because you had a great time with someone ONCE, doesn't mean it will work. Some people just need a reality check. what do you REALLY want? what is the REAL situation now? do you REALLY want to be with that person & that person only? re-evaluate your life. do you NEED to be with someone? Alex said it well: are you just in love with the idea of being in love? Being single is great, don't be fooled by cute couples & unrealistic movies. Learn to feel enough. Appreciate the people in your life that you may take for granted. Be aware of all of that. If you find someone, good for you. If you don't, you are enough. Let it be.

  • Brent Myrand
    Brent Myrand

    Bruh you gettin some serious side glances from my wife here given that we started long distance and she's an English teacher.

  • Mike Mike
    Mike Mike

    Don’t worry I’m not really throwing away much. That’s like when people tell me “Watch out for identity theft!” Like ehhhhh I don’t really think anyone wants mine, I’ll be fine.

  • Mari
    Mari

    Thank you Alex, this was really nice to hear. I was recently dumped and was have been feeling sad for a few weeks. But after binging your podcasts, I just feel less pressure and less sadness overall. I feel much more hopeful for the future. I want to start dating again, but I think for now I wanna focus on me a bit longer and now I feel a lot better about that

  • Serenade2461
    Serenade2461

    As someone who is getting married next month, I'd like to mention how likely it would be that she'd have to have a long engagement because of Covid-19 (first story)

  • Juice
    Juice

    I don’t think Alex got that first question right. I personally think she should leave now. That relationship isn’t gonna go anywhere no matter how much time she invests. Better cut it now than waiting till she’s 30 to find out it’s not gonna go anywhere.

  • Mascha Sinha Verma
    Mascha Sinha Verma

    Woah I'm the 500th comment

  • Matt L
    Matt L

    "I married him, so I could help him open Jars of pickles" But in any case, sure you can make a timeline and try to be on the same page, yet, life isn't going to follow your timeline;Sometimes you have to go with whatever's happening in the moment and just be happy that you two are willing and are committed,if you can't handle a few bad things in life or gotta wait for a special better moment, then ...Jeez how will you be able to go on through life!but ots okay, I've told ya now, so you can fix it or do something similar or do nothing either way Girls gotta know he's does want that too but the timeline did not oversee a pandemic, so right now he's saving up for that future you guys want and getting you 2 secure so you and your children ( when you guys have any)don't end up on the street; and having his Girlfriend stay and support him helping him to might be the comfort of mind saying I'll be here during hard times, so we can enjoy our good times later and we'll have a : as close as we can make it timeline. Thank you for My Ted Talk.

  • lisafagerli
    lisafagerli

    Can you talk about your views on religion on an episode? :D

  • laila khaled
    laila khaled

    i love how he uses metaphors

  • KaylynnWasHere
    KaylynnWasHere

    "I am very introverted. Now a lot people think that means you're socially awkward, I don't think that's true at all. I can talk a good talk, I can...speak...words...good" Mood

  • mms208
    mms208

    To the 19 yr old introvert: I was you. Exactly you. I stayed in a relationship way too long because I was scared of loneliness. That relationship turned bad, and I was left alone regardless. But I’m very thankful, because being alone taught me so much. I gained confidence, I began to depend on myself more, I found out how strong I could be. I’m sad sometimes when I think of the time I wasted on that relationship just because I didn’t want to be alone. However, it taught me such a valuable lesson. Yes, it can be hard at first. Yes, it seems intimidating. But all that passes and what you’re left with (as Alex said) is pure freedom. It’s the best feeling in the world. I hope everything works out for you, stay strong ❤️

  • cata morales perez
    cata morales perez

    This is the podcast I needed like 3-4 years ago, I was soooo desperate to date someone in high school bc most of my friends were but I could not really found anyone and I felt so bad about it... And then the people who were into me were.. Not the best so.. Yeah 21 and still haven't dated 😂 now I feel pretty good about it

  • P K
    P K

    I wanna do the devils tango with Alex 😩

  • Thegrimmeater
    Thegrimmeater

    I feel like if youre 18 its ok to date someone whos 17 16 I feel like would be a case by case situation and if youre 19 17 is ok but 16 is not

  • Wolfgem Playz 101
    Wolfgem Playz 101

    I'm a new subscriber would you be able to do deadtime stories in one of your upcoming videos? Anyway I love your channel 😋🙂

  • Andrea Pérez
    Andrea Pérez

    It would be great if this had a podcast Higlight!

  • Ruby Hobbit
    Ruby Hobbit

    I'm in the military usually its 9 per room so 8 actually doesnt sound that bad

  • Daniel Baran
    Daniel Baran

    To give an answer to Noor’s (and if you happen to be watching this, I’m so sorry if I misspelled your name) question, I’d say it’s worth it to date in high school. Coming from a guy who was in Alex’s position of having never dated in high school (probably because I came off/looked like a sketchy dude, is introverted, and on the autistic spectrum), I see it as a way to improve your social skills, learn what to do/not do, “learn the ropes,” etc. in a small(er) environment so that when you enter college and/or the real world, you will have an easier time navigating social situations; unlike, someone like me who probably needs to go to a social skills counselor at some point when COVID-19 ends stateside. But keep in mind, the choice of whether or not to go against your religion is entirely up to you and also, don’t let peer pressure corrupt your values.

  • Ramanuj Baruah
    Ramanuj Baruah

    Hey guess what I did. Moved to a different country for a girl who then dumped me a week before we were supposed to meet.

  • Leigh Black
    Leigh Black

    The girl with her boss, he may be asexual. He may really be interested in being close friends. The fact that he doesn't talk about girls or dating with his brother and friends is kinda a red flag. Most people at least talk about it in passing. He may not understand it himself or he may be afraid that she would freak out if he told her the truth.

  • Allison West
    Allison West

    Here's my question, where do you draw the line between a permanent part of a person's personality and something that you can encourage them to work on or change?

    • Pixel Meyers
      Pixel Meyers

      Wow👏🏾 Awesome question, definitely will be thinking about this one.

  • Allison West
    Allison West

    I personally like when you do these videos alone, and not with someone else (like in the second video), but that's just my personal opinion

  • Maija Shea
    Maija Shea

    She’s 19, he’s 23. Yeah makes sense. “We’ve been in a relationship for 5 years” HOLD UP. FBI

  • violet kihara
    violet kihara

    I feel like the first girl needs to learn to do things for herself (self-love) she is giving too much to someone who isn't giving much

  • Marlene Ornelas
    Marlene Ornelas

    Maybe you can watch the Netflix show ( the mr. Peabody and Sherman show) its a 2017 show👍👍👍👌👌👌

  • Batman
    Batman

    Thought you were going to dance, but then I checked the video title I watched earlier and realized it's called "Devil's Swing". Lol.

  • Queenzie Queenza
    Queenzie Queenza

    Last time I did the “😏😈 *dEvILs TaNgO* 😈😏” was in December...ain’t that sad 😞

  • Gaming Keyyy
    Gaming Keyyy

    do cobra kai plz

  • Reddit User
    Reddit User

    He should react to “how far is tattoo far”they have the wildest couples

  • H Begum
    H Begum

    The Muslim brother I think your name is Noor. If you're confused I think you should seek out Islamic help. There is a youtuber called dawahman if you want to you can watch some of his vids and even contact him. He helps a lot of youth. His email should be on his channel. May Allah help us and guide us.

  • Elena
    Elena

    You do give really good relationship advice ~ thank you

  • Ayesha jahir
    Ayesha jahir

    11:49 I don't know why I got soo excited after hearing my little country's name which is not very famous

  • Raghad Amr
    Raghad Amr

    For noor the muslim girl, I hope you read this because I am muslim too and I have experienced the same peer pressure of dating or girls always discussing their boy problems around me but I have never dated and never will because regardless what anyone says, it is haram... I understand it might get hard to hold on to your islamic values, but you have to always remind yourself that what's haram will always be haram even if everyone is doing it... I don't know where you live so you might have a different experience, but as alex said you aren't really missing out on a lot by not dating, most high school relationships suck and as for us here in middle east, most relationships outside of marriage end miserably. It is way better for you to focus on your ambitions and dreams now and try to make yourself a better person and a better muslim in every way, so when the right person comes you both are mature enough to have a relationship good enough that you never regret not dating.

  • Jaguars Wølf
    Jaguars Wølf

    Watch sonic the hedgehog

  • Jessica Kellock
    Jessica Kellock

    U should do ' The Next Step ' for one of ur videos

  • Wendy Griffin
    Wendy Griffin

    Could you do the Christmas prince to react to?

  • Mackenzie Mc
    Mackenzie Mc

    The last email was close to what my last relationship was like, except I could blame age on his lack of maturity. He was actually a year older then me.

  • Ella Claire the tar heel
    Ella Claire the tar heel

    Can you put this on like apple podcast or something

  • valentina charlo
    valentina charlo

    Your next video should be about "Julie and the phantoms" the new netflix show, it´s absolutely amazing

  • Corey Sanders
    Corey Sanders

    To Boss girl... Maybe he doesn't want to define anything BECAUSE he's her boss. Any chance there's a rule at work about dating subordinates, and that it would put their jobs at risk if they became "official"? I don't necessarily agree, buy that could be why he doesn't want to have "the talk".

    • Ali the Heep
      Ali the Heep

      It’s still a bad sign that he’s 31 and can’t articulate his reasons. Avoiding uncomfortable conversations is understandable but he’s refusing to answer direct questions.

  • Pigeon Boy
    Pigeon Boy

    Can you put it on appple podcast

  • Allahgator's Swamp
    Allahgator's Swamp

    6 ads in one vid really LV-home

  • Anna Neprawskey
    Anna Neprawskey

    why can't i find this episode on the podcast channel?

  • Wonder Panda
    Wonder Panda

    I love these podcast! Alex is a great advisor person. I listen to these after school and I feel like they're relatable 😸

  • L B G
    L B G

    I love it when he talks about kelsey (sorry if I spelled it wrong)

  • Aidan Carroll
    Aidan Carroll

    when is this going to be available on spotify?

  • viktoro zubin
    viktoro zubin

    marriage is the best way to grow to grow together(personal opinion)

  • Carohleenah
    Carohleenah

    me a junior in college with a nose ring and purple hair: 😳

  • Laskai Tamás
    Laskai Tamás

    15:31 I have never felt myself more triggered.

  • Carmeleon HP
    Carmeleon HP

    You know what? Imma actually send something in. I thought I wouldn't, but the story got quite interesting this weekend

  • Georgegaming 24
    Georgegaming 24

    Can you react to the new "babysitter killer queen" by Netflix

  • Andrea Acosta Ferro
    Andrea Acosta Ferro

    CAN YOU DO A VIDEO ON COBRA KAI PLS ITS SO UNDERRATED!!

  • MezzMar
    MezzMar

    Dude, you haven't uploaded the third episode to spotify

  • Kya Ambrose
    Kya Ambrose

    Can you do the seven deadly sins???

  • Sana rehmat A Kodakeri
    Sana rehmat A Kodakeri

    You need an intro

  • Tamari- Chan
    Tamari- Chan

    I just wanna recommend an anime called My Hero Academia so thats it

  • Silly Kibble
    Silly Kibble

    React to cuties on Netflix trust me 😂😂😂

  • Silvermoon
    Silvermoon

    13:20 ish mark. I think many women fear being alone not only because of how unsafe it is to be a single woman who lives alone, but also because we have thousands of years behind us of society enforcing the notion that a woman needs to be married as fast as possible. If you're single, there's something wrong with you, men don't want you, etc. It was considered to be a great shame if your daughter never married, and even though our society is progressing, that notion remains in a lot of people's heads.

  • Jason Floodberg
    Jason Floodberg

    I have absolutely been loving these videos. I'm 31 and it's so good to see someone who has a very similar point of view of relationships as I do. If I can suggest something though?. I would do a little wrap up at the end of the video so it doesn't feel so abrupt of an ending. Besides that the videos are amazing keep up the good work

  • ava paw
    ava paw

    For the 1st one if your both having financial problems I'd say it's best to wait till your stable financially ^_^ good luck to that couple

  • Glinjan
    Glinjan

    Wow... This episode helped me get over some stuff. Thank you for that!!!

  • Cli-Kar-Mar Davis
    Cli-Kar-Mar Davis

    *20 years later his son be like* Doin The Devils Tango makes no sense

  • Rivero Kenshiro
    Rivero Kenshiro

    never date your boss, when thing goes sour ggwp.

  • Hawa
    Hawa

    Im also muslim and I never dated in high school, I started dating last year, now I'm almost 21 and in college and I really don't regret it, I'm actually glad I didn't date before. Like even right now it's not that marvellous to date, people haven't figured out yet who they are and what they want, me either hahah

  • Dy Eau3
    Dy Eau3

    I just feel hilarious listening this podcast I’ve been single for about 5 years, with zero intention of dating, and somehow here🤣.

  • Matthew Latter
    Matthew Latter

    My advice for dating in high school? *Don't*

    • BeenALongDay
      BeenALongDay

      Facts

  • Vitor
    Vitor

    hey alex, I really like your videos and I wanna say that this tipe of podcast is really cool to

  • Simran Thakur
    Simran Thakur

    I think if the person who has been together for six years wants they should discuss a polyamarous relationship or an open relationship to see “What they are missing”

  • HannahS
    HannahS

    Love listening to these!

  • Enjinks
    Enjinks

    Let's be honest for 1 sec here If marriage doesn't mean more commitment than just a relationship, why would someone say they don't feel ready for it ? If you truly think you have found your life partner, would you think you need to wait some more time for... what exactly? Does marriage makes it impossible to continue studying ? To save up money? To pursue your dreams ? If the answer is yes, then that means you don't want to commit all the way (or it's not a good match)

    • Ali the Heep
      Ali the Heep

      The main advantages of marriage are legal - right to make medical decisions etc.

  • Damien Knox
    Damien Knox

    A match is surely brewin':)

  • Kyra Doles
    Kyra Doles

    Seriously loving this podcast

  • Isicoy Takapu
    Isicoy Takapu

    Could u do titans

  • yumi456
    yumi456

    I think 3 hours is long-distance. Don't forget that not everybody lives in the US were you drive 3 hours and are still in the same city. In Europe if you drive 3 hours you may drive through 3 countrys xD

    • yumi456
      yumi456

      @Rita I'm from Luxembourg :)

    • Rita
      Rita

      Where are you from ? I'm from France ☺️

  • MInute MAN
    MInute MAN

    I would like a girlfriend

  • CharmedNijntje
    CharmedNijntje

    I need more of this

  • KiroKina
    KiroKina

    Situation in email #4 happened to my brother. His perfectly happy girlfriend wanted something “more” and was seeking out different experiences, so they broke up and she never looked back. She didn’t find another guy until like 6 years later and never went back to my brother. Also, I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 6 years and he has been my only relationship, and I don’t have those feelings at all. I don’t think there’s something missing and I don’t think I need to live out different experiences. Idk if these people read the comments on the podcast but I agree with Alex. If you let it go you might never find what you once had.

    • IIアニカ
      IIアニカ

      Yes I am reading it :) That is my email and I have to add that I got these feelings not all the time but there are phases when it’s like that. My boyfriend on the other hand tells me the same as you. He never feels this way but he can understand me. Nevertheless it was really nice to hear Alex talking like that about my relationship and I really don’t take this connection for granted but I should enjoy my luck a lot more.

  • vintagehollywoodandheavymetal
    vintagehollywoodandheavymetal

    I.... don't see why it matters if you get married and have kids after 30 as a woman? I don't want kids at all myself, especially not before 35 cause I feel it'd ruin my freedom.

    • Ali the Heep
      Ali the Heep

      If you want kids, 25-35 is prime baby-havin’ time. After 35 is considered “advanced maternal age” and chance of complications and birth defects goes up, plus chances of needing fertility treatments. It’s obviously still very doable to have kids from 35-45, but there are more problems. So if you know you want them, i understand not wanting to put it off without a good reason.

  • Devam Jangra
    Devam Jangra

    👍👍👍👍👍

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